This is part of an extravaganza hosted by Rachel @ Beauty and the Bookshelf. Since March 10 is World Kidney Day, she has creatively came up with the topic in the title!
So before my kidneys realise what's happening, here are two things I’d give a kidney for:
1. To roam Hogwarts as a ghost.
Hogwarts should be pretty self-explanatory, but the ghost part?
Before you get a highly insulted Myrtle to attack me with a volley of toilet paper rolls, HEAR ME OUT.
Firstly, it’d allow me to have an education in Hogwarts. I’m a major nerd, and I love learning new stuff about topics I’m interested in. Defense Against the Dark Arts with Lupin? Transfiguration with McGonagall? Herbology with Professor Sprout? Forget a kidney, I’d happily give you a brain.
So yes, Hermione and I would be study buddies; we’d be comparing notes and clocking in 100% attendance for every subject. Though she’d be way smarter than me, considering I’d have no brains. Hell, she’d probably be smarter than me even if I had my brains.
And I’m just gonna assume being a ghost in Hogwarts would entail exclusion from O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, so that means I get to learn stuff without the stress from pesky examinations. But it’s not like I have much to worry, final examinations always manage to get themselves cancelled at Hogwarts!
Secondly, and most importantly, I get to be classmates with The Marauders (and Lily, of course), The Golden Trio, and their children!
DO YOU SEE NOW?!!!!
I’d be able to stay at Hogwarts for as long as I’d like, seeing generations after generations grow and graduate…I’m gonna now stop before I sound more like a mother.
And I’d be able to have a 4-D experience of the Battle of Hogwarts. Also, being a ghost allows me to be able to sneak about everywhere, floating from dorm to dorm. Of course I’ll mostly be in Gryffindor’s but I might just pop by Slytherin’s one to see what Draco’s up to in his free time.
Now that I’ve convinced you (I hope), you can put your kidney up for grabs as well, while I go figure out the technicalities of this glorious plan. We’ll be off (with a kidney less, no doubt) as soon as the owl delivering our acceptance letter gets its shit together.
2. To see the Percy Jackson movies redone, well enough to make Uncle Rick proud.
I’m pretty sure all demigods in the Percy Jackson fandom would agree on this, even if some of us are unclaimed because the Greek gods are having too much fun in Olympus.
The Lightning Thief movie was actually what made me pick up the series.
Unpopular opinion: I liked the movie, even after I finished the series.
I took it as an alternative version of the book, something like what Shadowhunters is doing to The Mortal Instruments now (although I have some issues with that too, but that’s a story for another day).
But Sea of Monsters was so bad compared to the books, I’m kind of glad they’re not making them anymore. At least, not by the same producers, and not by changing the storyline.
So yep, I’d totally give a kidney to see the Percy Jackson series redone on screen, ACCORDING TO Uncle Rick’s storyline. Why anyone would try to mess with Riordan's work is beyond me. Like, have you seen his sassy tweets?! In a hundred and forty characters, no less. SO UTTERLY DEFEATED BY HIS CHAPTER TITLES TOO.
Oh, and I’ll throw in my two arms if the movies extended to Heroes of Olympus, and they have this particular scene with Leo Valdez saying: “I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man! I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy.”
And maybe also precious Frank Zhang struggling with Chinese handcuffs and turning into an iguana instead.
And low-key badass Hazel Levesque who doesn't let anyone tell her what to do.
ALSO, I WANNA SEE THE MAGNIFICIENT ARGO II.
AND CAMP JUPITER.
AND CAMP HALF BLOOD AGAIN.
OH AND NEW ROME.
What. Stop looking at me like that. I just really love the little band of demigods and their world.
Alright, I’m gonna end here now.
Not because I've ran out off stuff I want visuals of from PJ and HOO (as if that could ever happen), but because I NEED TO GO LOOK FOR MY MISSING KIDNEYS.
Somewhere between writing this post and ogling at HP gifs and PJ fanart, they discovered my treacherous plan and started running to the hills. I’m gonna need them back if I want to roam Hogwarts as a ghostly apparition and see to getting Uncle Rick’s approval on the movies.
If you have something in particular you'd give all ten thousand kidneys to make it happen, what would it be? I would love to hear from you!
DON'T LET THEM KIDNEYS HEAR YOU THOUGH.